How One Piece destroyed my couple (Zoro and Chopper, I hate you)

I’m a big fan of One Piece. Between the scans, the episodes and the French release, I am clearly living the best years of my life alongside the greatest work of all time, by far. Not content to live this experience, I decided to make discover Luffy, Zoro and all the clique to my girlfriend (for me, that was more important than meeting my parents). For a common experience, I chose as support theanime. So I thought I would feel a certain pride, relive my favorite moments while sharing them with my better half. Alas, 300 episodes and an Enies Lobby arc just finished afterwards, I realize that I no longer control anything. One Piece ruined my relationship.

NB: for everyone’s sake, this article spoils no further than the Post-Enies Lobby arc.

She only cries

Already, everything that is a child who struggles, a flashback of a Mugiwara or a stylish scene with Luffy who orders Robin to tell him that she wants to live, is the big crying. Of course, I too am crying, and together we are emptying boxes of tissues. One Piece has heightened our sensitivity and we start crying for nothing. We don’t know what to eat for dinner, we cry. No more shower gel to wash your body, we cry. The tiles are too cold, we cry.

See also on Konbini

But for my girlfriend, it’s still a level above. Tony-Tony Chopper made her completely crazy. Every time he appears on the screen, and I mean EVERY TIME, she finds him too adorable and drops a tear so much she can’t bear the presence of this too cute little Tanuki. At first, it’s funny. In the end, I can’t take it anymore.


I’m mega-dumb

As I already know the work, I want it to experience the same emotions that I have experienced in the past, with the piracy guide that I am as a small bonus. As a result, I take the liberty of sometimes pausing the episode in order to explain to him the lore of One Piece, while it will be unveiled shortly after. I also try to hyper, by dropping “watch out, you’re going to love it” Where “Remember this character well”. Yes, I have become this kind of person who speaks at the same time as the episode, and personally, I want to put on toast.

But I don’t stop there, otherwise it’s too easy. I also spend my time watching my girlfriend’s reactions during important scenes. If she doesn’t react the way I want, it goes to explain the importance that Shelly has for Tonjit on this island where life is much more difficult than you think. To put an end to his patience, I also take the liberty of slipping “ah yeah, in the manga, it’s not like that”. At first, she finds it interesting. In the end, she can’t take it anymore.

Always the same evenings

Our evenings have changed drastically. Before, our activities ranged from the little movie under the duvet to the weekend as a couple, going out to the restaurant, yoga and gym sessions, or evenings for two drinking wine while redoing the world, but just our bathroom.

Now it’s not the same. Now we eat pasta in front One Piece and then that’s all. We come home from work, we make quick meals and we spread out on the sofa in front of Crunchyroll. If a colleague asks me what I did with my weekend, I dare not tell him that I comatose with my girl in front One Piece. To coat the lie in custard, I say that I awakened my mind to a thousand-year-old cultural and artistic work.


A non-existent social life

Outside, the world has also changed. Our best friends became Luffy, Sanji, Nami and Nico Robin. We no longer see our other friends, the real ones, who live in reality. However, it is not for lack of being invited. It’s just that the Mugiwara arrived at Water Seven and need to find a carpenter to fix the Vogue Merry, especially since Kaku looks nice and I hope it will be him who gets recruited and not that bastard of Frankie. So there you go, you know, it’s going to take us the whole evening, and everything. But I promise, as soon as we finish Marine Ford and pass the ellipsis, we’ll think about writing you a message “Available?”hoping that you will not have forgotten us and that your children will not have grown too much by then.

Everything brings us back to One Piece

All our daily life reminds us One Piece. We imitate our favorite characters and we buy a ton of fruit hoping to find the one who will give us the capabilities of the dishwasher. Beyond the couple, we are nothing more than ghosts, drug addicts One Piece. We buy mushrooms, we remember the scene where Chopper brings the amiudake to Doctor Hiluluk and we collapse in the Monoprix. If my girlfriend forgets her hat, I wait until she slices her shoulder with a knife to give her mine. And if I have to make her a promise, I do it while crying lying in a boat, a sword in my hand. Back.

I haven’t talked about intimacy, but you can imagine that she sleeps at the bottom of the sea alongside the Vogue Merry. She only wants Roronoa Zoro and I only want Nico Robin. We no longer share anything in common except One Piece. We only exist for One Piece. We have over 700 episodes left to cover. After the Wano arc, there will be nothing left of us.